“I want a White Man”

 “I want a White Man”

I am so sick and tired of our black sisters saying their next boyfriend is going to be white man. “My next boyfriend is going to be White Man”, like it's a privilege or something; I am not sure what that even means. When a black woman’’s relationship ends with a black man, it always seems that they are sworn off 'ALL' BLACK MEN. So the entire Black race of men is no good; then they turn to 'White Men'. They never say “My next boyfriend is going to be Chinese, or African, or Indian, or a Hispanic man... ” What is wrong with all the other races?

White men are considered to be privileged and because of their prestige and power, they believe they are entitled and therefore believe they can do and get anything and if they don't, they just take it, cast in point, Robert Chambers (1986).¹ I am not saying all white men, but this is a known fact about them. However, white man are no more privileged than any other race, Black, Indian, Hispanic, they are all the same. But our black sisters, seems to think they will be treated differently; 'better' even, if they date a white man. Don't be fooled my sisters, don't all relationships begin with a “fairytale?

Here are some statistics Ladies:

According to DC Coalition Against Domestic Violence (2012), Only about half of domestic violence against women incidents are reported to police. African-American women are more likely than others to report their victimization to police. The most common reasons for not reporting domestic violence to police are that victims view the incident as a personal or private matter, or they fear retaliation.² This is not to say that white women; or women of other races who are dating or are married to a white man are not being victimized by white men, they are just not reporting it. But while men from all backgrounds kill their spouses, affluent white men are represented in the ranks of our most infamous mass murderers. In other words, the less privileged you are, the less likely you are to take your violence outside of your family and your community. Most mass (massacre) Murderers are Privileged White Men (Laurie Essig, The Chronicle of Higher Education (2012).³

Let's face it ladies, at the end of the day, we all want someone who is going to treat us with respect, who loves us and want to be with us. But if we are not respecting ourselves, if we don't love ourselves, then why would any man black or white treat us any differently from any other race. If what we don't allow, or accept in a relationship with a black man, why then should we accept it or allow it with any other race? We say that black men are liars, they cheat on their women and they don't respect and treat their women as queens. Ladies: Are we truly behaving like the queens we claim we want to be? It is not even a fair statement to say that black men lie. All men lie! The fact of the matter is women lie too. But, to say that black men do this and that, and to believe that white men don't - is a bucket load of crap, men are all the same, Black, White, Hispanic, Chinese... Trust me I know what I am talking about I've dated a few.

Listen, as humans on the whole, we should not be lumped together because of the colour of our skin, or the colour of our eyes or the type (texture) of hair, but as individuals and by our character. Yes, yes I know, we all do it on a daily basis, it is called judging. We do it every day whether we want to admit it or not, whether we realize it or not. But to say that an entire race of men are bad news because you have had bad relationships with a few of them -- is wrong. There are still a few good men out there. Ladies we need to look at ourselves and find out what we are doing in our relationships with our black men that is allows them to treat us in a way that turns us away from an entire race. I am not saying not to date outside of your race, far be it from me to give that kind of advice. But we need to improve upon

ourselves, work on the good and fix the parts we know need fixing, to attract any man; and we all want a good man. Right!?. A little change within ourselves can attract the type of man we deserve in our lives, Black, White, Chinese, Indian or Hispanic...

_____________________

1  http://nymag.com/news/features/crime/48262/

2  http://www.dccadv.org/img/fck/file/Resources/DCCADV_DomesticViolenceFacts_Sheet.pdf

3  http://chronicle.com/blogs/brainstorm/mass-murder-and-the-culture-of-madness/50597

Out of Sorts

What do you do when you are in a funk and you feel you just can't get over it?

Have you ever felt out of sorts and not sure why? Ever felt you needed to be doing something but not sure what? Feeling disconnected... (a state of being where we don’t feel safe and present and integrated). At times when you have these feelings and not sure what to do about it, you ask yourself 'what to do about it?' Am I the only one feeling this way,? Na can't be. So you call up a friend, a brother or a sister, a buddy and talk to them just to have someone listen to you. I don't want to be judged, I want to be listened to, I don't want negative feedback, I just need an ear. I may not even want a solution, just someone who understands what I am going through. Trust me, don't we already know the answers? In talking I may find out that they too may have had these feelings at some point of their lives. Wow, what a relief. When you feel you are the only one going through STUFF, and you feel you are the only one that is going crazy, it puts you in such a place of confusion and you can't understand why this is all happening to just you. You start to worry and stress, you try to find ways to get out of your funk. So you try to put things in perspective, you first try to talk to yourself about what is going on, then you try talking to someone else. Talking is a very important tool, it is a coping mechanism for some of us , (me) that helps us to deal with what  we going through. When you talk or say things out loud or have someone say the things we may already know to be true, it gives us a form of release and puts us at ease.

So when we feel out of sorts at times and not sure what to do, talk it out.; if not with yourself , find a buddy. Find someone who will listen and not judge. Someone who will validate your feelings. Sometimes, it is as small as that, we just need someone to listen to us.

That is my take on it – share with me how you deal when you are feeling out or sorts and disconnected.

Question for the Day

Ask yourself this question.

Should our professions define who we are as a person, should our careers, our job, define us as human being?

Should we always have our professional caps on? What if I want to shut off and shut down from it all, am I allowed?

Help me pick my new glasses

Help me pick my new glasses

Insomnia - Who is having this problem?

Insomnia (or sleeplessness) is an individual's report of sleeping difficulties. While the term is sometimes used in sleep literature to describe a disorder demonstrated by polysomnographic evidence of disturbed sleep, insomnia is often defined as a positive response to either of two questions: "Do you experience difficulty sleeping?" or "Do you have difficulty falling or staying asleep?"

Thus, insomnia is most often thought of as both a sign and a sympto that can accompany several sleep, medical, and psychiatric disorders, characterized by persistent difficulty falling asleep and/or staying asleep or sleep of poor quality. Insomnia is typically followed by functional impairment while awake. One definition of insomnia is "difficulties initiating and/or maintaining sleep, or nonrestorative sleep, associated with impairments of daytime functioning or marked distress for more than 1 month." Insomnia can occur at any age, but it is particularly common in the elderly.

Insomnia can be grouped into primary and secondary, or comorbid, insomnia. Primary insomnia is a sleep disorder not attributable to a medical, psychiatric, or environmental cause. A complete diagnosis will differentiate between:

• insomnia as secondary to another condition,
• primary insomnia co-morbid with one or more conditions, or
• free-standing primary insomnia.

...Wikipedia

My niece suffers with Insomnia, she has not had sleep in a while and this keeps her up all night or she is just not able to stay asleep.

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